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reviewofmycat:

Cat: Jake
Owner: Bailey
Appearance: A
“Jake is a very handsome cat. He is the very definition of what a cartoon cat would look like. As far as appearing like a real, functioning cat, he is a little too round and a not at all limber or graceful. He has a good face and is very photogenic though, so I think that gives him a solid 5 out of 5. He also wears a tux in the evenings.”
Sociability: A
“Jake loves friends! I think it’s just a ploy to get fur on everyone, but he typically tries to befriend any person, cat or dog who is nice. He hides from people if they knock on my door or ring my doorbell, but those are typically strangers, so I like to say he’s keen, not unfriendly. Although I once bought him a ferret so he could have a friend and he tried to eat it. I think it was precautionary, the ferret was probably a spy.”
Usefulness: A
“If you define useful as someone to always make you laugh, then Jake is very useful. He does sprints through my apartment after he poops, and who doesn’t love a post-poop cat sprint? No one. He also makes sure to spread cat hair throughout every inch of my apartment, but that just makes me an extra efficient 2-times-a-day vacuumer! He also keeps me from wasting my time on my computer or cell phone by unplugging them or laying on top of them. Plus he doubles as an alarm clock.”
Huggability: A
“When Jake gets cold, he cuddles up next to you, on top of you or under you. You can pick him up and he’ll stiff arm your face, but if you just rotate him 90 degrees, you can get a pretty good cuddle going on. He hates it, but he won’t fight you, he’ll wiggle a bit but that’s about it. He never bites or scratches, but since he sheds so much, you don’t want to hug him anyway.”
Overall Grade: A+
[Ed. note: Jake is one of our highest rated cats ever. Based on ratings alone, Jake is essentially the Ritz Carlton of cats.]

Cat: Jake

Owner: Bailey

Appearance: A

“Jake is a very handsome cat. He is the very definition of what a cartoon cat would look like. As far as appearing like a real, functioning cat, he is a little too round and a not at all limber or graceful. He has a good face and is very photogenic though, so I think that gives him a solid 5 out of 5. He also wears a tux in the evenings.”

Sociability: A

“Jake loves friends! I think it’s just a ploy to get fur on everyone, but he typically tries to befriend any person, cat or dog who is nice. He hides from people if they knock on my door or ring my doorbell, but those are typically strangers, so I like to say he’s keen, not unfriendly. Although I once bought him a ferret so he could have a friend and he tried to eat it. I think it was precautionary, the ferret was probably a spy.”

Usefulness: A

“If you define useful as someone to always make you laugh, then Jake is very useful. He does sprints through my apartment after he poops, and who doesn’t love a post-poop cat sprint? No one. He also makes sure to spread cat hair throughout every inch of my apartment, but that just makes me an extra efficient 2-times-a-day vacuumer! He also keeps me from wasting my time on my computer or cell phone by unplugging them or laying on top of them. Plus he doubles as an alarm clock.”

Huggability: A

“When Jake gets cold, he cuddles up next to you, on top of you or under you. You can pick him up and he’ll stiff arm your face, but if you just rotate him 90 degrees, you can get a pretty good cuddle going on. He hates it, but he won’t fight you, he’ll wiggle a bit but that’s about it. He never bites or scratches, but since he sheds so much, you don’t want to hug him anyway.”

Overall Grade: A+

[Ed. note: Jake is one of our highest rated cats ever. Based on ratings alone, Jake is essentially the Ritz Carlton of cats.]